Home Management Notebook

I have been trying to develop and use a Home Management Notebook. I have found that the weeks I actually stick to my plan I have more energy, less stress, and a cleaner house! All good things. There are a few resources I have found that help me get organized, and have given me some great ideas to create my own custom schedules. As I develop my Home Management Notebook I plan on posting the files here for anyone who finds them to use them. I just have to figure out how to do that, if it is possible.... hmmm... didn't find anything in Blogger's help just now, must keep searching!

Alleluia! Alleluia!

Alleluia! Christ is Risen! You might think to yourself, "Wait, wasn't Easter a while ago?". Well, that is the great thing about being Catholic, Easter is not just a day, but a season. We do not celebrate the important moments in salvation history for an hour or two, but for weeks. Advent, Christmas, Lent, Easter as well as Ordinary Time make up the Liturgical Calender of the Catholic Church. This allows us, as busy and procrastinating, often prideful and even selfish humans many opportunities to hear the call of the Father.

During Lent, I often thought about Christ's death and Resurrection. I contemplated my own sins and their contribution the Christ's agony on the Cross. I looked at my life and tried to see opportunity where I could only see frustration, to feel blessed instead of frustrated. This was a difficult journey. One I am only beginning to take, beginning to understand.

If Christ died for me, to destroy death, and restore life, my life, then how am I honoring the sacrifice He made for me? Am I living up to that self-donating love that Christ exemplified?
I am not. But because of Christ's love, I can be.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Corinthians I think....

Is Sock Knitting Hard?

I have been called a good knitter. I am not sure. Like most things, I lack self confidence in this area. I have knit a ton of scarfs in many different textures and colors, baby booties, a couple of toddler sweaters and a skirt. I want to knit a pair of socks, but I'm afraid. Is sock knitting hard? I already knit in the round on double pointed needles so I don't know what my hesitation is. Its only socks right? I found a video on You Tube that I like. She makes it look so easy. I think its what I need right now. I need to tackle something that makes me hesitate. Something that will boost my confidence. Something that has nothing to do with cleaning the house or trying to organize it, or trying to keep the boys entertained. Something for me.

icky slimy dirt

We have had a lot of rain here in CA lately which is great if you are a dry-land farmer, but presents a few problems if you are a stay-at-home mom of pre-school aged twins. After a couple weeks of steady rain any outside play time involves mud, or as Leo calls it, icky slimy dirt. It wasn't full on mud wrestling, but there has been mud tossing and a few attempts at eating mud pies. Hands have gotten quite dirty, and faces have been smeared with muddy streaks. Now, I'm not one of those moms who who freaks out over dirty hands and faces, so we played in the icky slimy dirt. After all, kids and clothes wash, and letting the boys play in the dirt and mud is preferable to me losing my sanity because I'm couped up in the house for a week with two active toddlers.

The Saturday before last, we had a break in the rain. It wasn't much, but enough of a break for me to run the boys out to the vineyard to play with Daddy, Fawpa and Aunt Sarah while I finished loading up the car (diaper bag and what not) for a trip to town to get groceries. When I got out to the vineyard, the boys were excited to see me and wanted to go to town. They really like driving the big truck shopping carts. Aunt Sarah and Daddy loaded the boys in the car while I took care of the big buggy stroller. I wasn't thinking about the fact that they were wearing muddy boots. About half way to town Leo said "icky slimy dirt" and Joseph answered "eat dirt". Now I had been looking back at them, as usual, smiling as they talked to each other and handed toys back and forth. What I didn't see was Leo pull mud off the bottom of his boot and shove it in his mouth. That is until he said "icky slimy dirt" and did it again. I pulled over as soon as I could, grabbed a spitty rag and said "No! Don't eat dirt!". Leo responded by spitting the dirt out, and then sticking his tounge out so I could wipe it, along with his mud streaked face and hands. I had thought ahead, and brought the little tennis shoes so the boots were quickly removed. I just didn't think they had to be removed before they became a muddy buffet! Now I know!

My trip to the ICU

About 10 years ago, I was working for as a research assistant for a company doing research at Stanford. It was a very enjoyable job. It was stress full, and the hours were long, but I helped save lives. I also had amazing access to top doctors. When I went into arterial fibrillation with a tachycardia rhythm of over 250 beats per minute, the doctors in the Stanford ER were able to convert my heart to a normal rhythm within a few hours. After several trips to a cardiologist, and all kinds of test, nothing was found. The doctor told me that I need to get more exercise , better sleep, work less and avoid stress. Nothing was wrong, it was an unexplained event. I didn't really think that was a good answer, but it was the only one they had.

For 10 years, I didn't have any heart issues. There were a hand full of times I felt tired and light headed and was told to go to the ER to get check out because of my history. Nothing. Until last Saturday. Now I have had other heath problems in the last 10 years. I have Fibromyalgia and Lupus, which has caused all sorts of problems, including arthritis. My current doctor, who is normally very vigilant, and a good doctor, started me on a new medication for the arthritis. Unfortunately it increases the risk for heart attack and stroke. I didn't think anything about it since I have never had either of these issues. Unfortunately it reacted badly with what I am now being told is Lone Aortic Fibrillation Disorder. Basically, it means that my heart can slip out of rhythm for no real apparent reason. The new arthritis medication didn't cause the arrhythmia, but it contributed to the problem. So now I have to get a full cardiac work up. The best case scenario would be that I don't have to take any heart medications, and that I will only need to be monitored occasionally. At worst I will need surgery to relax the muscles in my heart, or possibly a pace maker.

The worst part of the experience was the effect it had on my boys. I am a stay-at-home mom to my ID twin boys who are 20 months old. They were with my when it started. We were only a few blocks from the church where my DH was working. Thankfully I was still able to drive. If I had to pull over I would have had to call an ambulance. He took us to the ER, where I almost fainted. I ended up laying in the middle of the ambulance bay, waiting for them to come out and get me. My DH was getting the boys out of the car in the parking lot. I told him I was feeling fine, but as soon as he pulled away, I almost collapsed. The boys saw me in the ER, and both of them freaked out. Joseph is more sensitive, and he was screaming so I told my DH to take them home and ask his mom to come over. We live out in the country and it took him almost 2 hours to get back. The next day, because we didn't have anyone to watch the boys, my DH brought them to visit so he could at least see me for a few minutes. They were both upset, and Joseph was clinging to my whimpering.Every time one of the machines beeped he would scream. That night (Sunday) he was crying when my DH went to put him down for the night and kept asking for mama and saying "mama medicine". On Monday when they picked me up from the hospital, I thought that little boy was going to explode. He wouldn't let go of me, or let me out of his sight. If I so much as went to the bathroom, he would scream "mama no bye-bye". They have both been very snuggly with me, and have said "mama medicine", and "mama no bye-bye".

My hope is that I will be able to get my Fibromyalgia under control without medications, or at least find one that won't have such severe side effects. I also hope that I will be able to take care of my babies. The exhaustion this week as been unexplainable and unbelievable. I love being a stay-at-home mom, and I love my babies more then anything. I just want to be healthy and my babies to be happy. I don't think that is too much to ask! If you read this please say a prayer for me, and for all moms who live with a cronic illness.

Bikes in the Vineyard Part 2

Bikes in the Vineyard Part 1