Girl - O - Girl!

The last 5 months have been a roller coaster!

I am 20 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl! What energy I have left after growing a new human is being sapped by my 2 active kindergarteners and their very active, almost 3 year old not-so-little brother! (he is 41 lbs. and wearing a 4T!)

The twins are loving kindergarten and doing well at school. The little rural school is working out wonderfully, as they are teaching to the kids ability and not just their grade level. I also get to interact with the kindergarten teacher on a daily basis and with the other teachers on a regular basis. The teachers do not hesitate to call me during the day when a question arises, and are quick to let me know when someone gets in trouble. They like to have the parents as involved as possible. Very nice!

All in the Motherhood

I know, 2 blog posts in one week and its only Monday! Well, don't get used to it! I'm a hard working mom of 3 boys, then there is the dog, and the husband who brings home hay dust. Besides my usual cooking, cleaning, laundry and more laundry routine there are trips to the library, the grocery store and the park. Not to mention the unpacking from our recent move. The unpacking is not made any less stressful when I know we will most likely be packing up to move again in 12 to 18 months! Hopefully that will be our last move! Ever! We have picked out a couple of plans for modular homes and plan on building our own place that no one can ever sell out from under us! What a disaster that was! But it seems to all be working out and so I have to trust the good Lord on this one! I just don't like packing, moving all my packed belongings or unpacking! I think I'll stick with a cubist decorating motif for the next 12 to 18 months and save myself some work!
Among the monkey wrenches thrown at us with the sale of our old house (we had been renting a property just off the ranch for 18 months, so yes that will be 3 moves in 3 years with 3 little kids! Yikes!) is the boys schooling. For the last 5 years we have been driving by a wonderful little 3 room rural school with amazing teachers and a caring school board. My husband and father-in-law being 2 of the board member, well, my husband was one of the board members until we moved. He had to resign because we are about 1/4 to 1/2 mile out of district now. Which also means we need to get an inter district transfer. I really pray we are able to get the transfer without too may problems and on our knees begging. Since we are planning on building in the old district things should work out. We don't want to have to send them to one school for a year and then uproot them. If we don't get the transfer I think I will start formally homeschooling them. We are already a home that focuses on education. At 5 years old entering kindergarten the twins can read at a second to third grade level, count past 100, know all their shapes and colors (many in Spanish as well) and do basic addition and subtraction. I am very proud of them! Their little brother can say his alphabet, identify letters, count to 10 in two languages, knows most of his colors and shapes (including pentagon!) and loves to look at books! In a way I think it would be amazing to formally homeschool! It would be interesting to see how well my boys would do if I started using a classical curriculum and began their formal education! Either way, I am excited to see how the next year progresses for them, and for us as a family! So many opportunities out of what seemed like such a mess of unanswered prayers. Now if I can only find my husband's running watch, he would be so much happier. I know its in a brown box...

Still Here

I am still here, the tired and slightly less overwhelmed mother of 3 very active boys! The twins will be starting kindergarten a week from tomorrow! I am encouraged to see how excited they are about school, but there is a huge part of me that does not want to release control of the education of my children. We live in a rural county that has 9 rural schools. Our school will have 26 kids K-8 this next year with 2 teachers and 1 1/2 teachers aides (one aide is also the school secretary). The kindergarten class of 5 will be the largest grade in the school and one of the largest classes for quite some time. If we didn't have this school, I would homeschool, no question. And we might just have too homeschool! We recently had to move as the house we were renting at the edge of my husband's family ranch was sold out from under us. We tried to buy it, but the house was old, lacked a foundation and did not qualify for a conventional loan. Once we finally had financing in place we lost the house to a couple with a ton of money who didn't need to bother the bank about foundations and dry rot and wanted a project. It was a very stressful time for us, but we are settling in about 6 miles down the road and saving to build our own home on the ranch. I have a pile of floor plans here on my desk to keep me company. One of the complications of this move (besides having all my possessions shoved into boxes) is moving 1/4 mile out of district. We are going to try for an inter district transfer but we are not expecting to get it. If the appeal to the county is denied then we will be a homeschooling family. Part of me is looking forward to homeschooling. Another part of me is looking forward to 3 1/2 hours a day with just one kid! After having twins first, well I find one kid amazingly easy! I can get sooo much done with just one kid! Especially one kid who still naps and hour and a half each day! If I could get nap time and school time to coincide I would be a very happy mama! Well, the kids are off in a hay field with daddy and a nap for me sounds like a good idea. Its been a long week and its only Sunday!

Motherhood on a Tuesday

My plan is to do a Motherhood post every Monday. I don't.
I have many plans that don't come to fruition. Many.
I am struggling. Again.
I have a discipline plan. I give in because I am too tired, physically and emotionally. The plan fails. The situation gets worse. I struggle.
I have a routine for housework. I am too tired, physically and emotionally. The routine isn't followed. Mt. Washmore explodes. There is not enough clean underwear.
But in the midst off all this supposed failure are little moments that let me know I am on the right path. I am just having a hard time focusing on these blessings. Again.
I want more time to take care of myself. A half hour each day to go for a nice walk. Do some yoga. Finish reading a book. I don't want this for selfish reasons. I want it so I can be less tired, physically and emotionally. I want it so I can be a better mom. I don't know how to get it.
I need your prayers. Please.

WIP Wednesday

I have many knitted UFOs (unfinished objects) that need work. There is the back bedroom disaster and Mt. Washmore, not to mention the garage. They all need work. But right now I am trying to focus on my Home Management Notebook for 2012. My current printer isn't up to the task of printing the needed pages, so I'm doing research. I'm thinking of getting a 3 in 1 wireless printer. We shall see. As with all purchases, the budget must be consulted.
For the Notebook, I am going to go with a different idea for 2012. I found a blog (and since lost it) that showed a very well thought out Notebook that had laminated pages and a spiral binding. I am going to steal this idea and try to make it my own. The laminated pages should help cut down on printer wear and tear, which considering the number of coloring pages I print is a very good thing. It will also be less bulky then the 3 ring binder I now use, which will help with portability and accessibility. I have a huge recipe section now, which I think I will just leave in the binder.
I have yearly, monthly, weekly and daily schedules/lists that will all be pre-printed with the weekly and daily pages laminated so I can reuse them. I also have a basic daily schedule posted in the kitchen to help me get back on track when I lose focus. A lot of planning and effort go into a good Home Management Notebook, but it is all worth it! My house is definitely cleaner and more organized when I stick to my schedules, not to mention happier children and healthier dinners!
It may all seem like a bit much, but its not. Have you ever seen an Outlook schedule for a busy office professional? Not much different.

Full Hands, Full Heart

I don't understand why people think I'm crazy because I have more then 1.2 kids. Any day I take the kids out in public, I'm sure to hear the phrase "You have your hands full!" I always reply with "and my heart too!" People usually smile and tell me my kids are cute. Unless, like the lady at the grocery store yesterday, they run off in a disgusted huff before I can respond. Really? I wish I could ask people like her a few questions. Like: Why is my having 3 kids who actually know how to behave in public such an inconvenience to you? What about my kids disturbs you so much? When you were a kid, did you dislike children as much as you do now?
I value my children. I see their worth. I know that they are fully human, now at their present age. They contribute to my life and bring me joy. The inevitable sleepless nights and frustrated afternoons that come with having 3 boys under 5 is a small part of the overall blessing of being their mother. I think a lot of the problems we face in our current culture could be solved if Motherhood was respected and children were valued.

Start Again

They boys sing a song for the days of the week that goes "Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then we start again!"
I am hoping to pick myself up a bit and do as the songs says - start again. I have been trying, it seems in vain at times, to follow my Mother's Rule of Life. Most days I do alright. The past few months have been better then the beginning of the year. But then its really easy to be better then awful! I have a few new ideas on how to work my Home Management Notebook. I think I am going to do as one blog suggested and have certain pages that I use over and over again laminated and have the whole thing spiral bound. I wish I could remember the site. I'd share it. Not to mention, I'd like to look at it again. Oh well! Hopefully I can recall enough useful information to put some of it into practice. I really do a lot better taking care of my kids, the house and the dog, not to mention myself, when I keep to my routines. With 3 small kids in the house routines are necessary. Its the only way anyone ever gets to wear clean underwear. Which reminds me I need to go throw my sheets in the wash and finish making the bed. Clean is comfortable!

Smarty Pants

The picture of Joseph counting was taken almost a year ago. He can now count to 100 independently and is quickly picking up the pattern to count over 100. He also recently started reading. All the sight word and phonics work of the past 4 years has really paid off. I actually saw the moment when reading clicked for him! It was amazing! He was looking at a book that we have read a thousand times (wish I could remember the exact book, I was to excited about the moment to remember that detail) and he was going along half reading, half repeating the memorized story when he came to a word he wasn't sure about. He stopped, looked at it, and then sounded it out. He looked up at me for approval, I gave it, and he smiled a huge wonderful smile that told me how proud he was of himself in that moment. Then his reading became slower as he thoughtfully looked at each word as if for the first time. Saying them slowly. Looking at each letter and word come together to form a new world. At only 4 years old, he is an independent reader who can take almost any book of his shelf and happily read it to himself. He has even advanced to the point of being able to read silently to himself! Simply amazing!
Leo isn't too far behind. While Joseph is extremely determined and focused once something has grabbed his attention, Leo is a creative dreamer. He likes to look at the pictures of a book and make up his own stories, or variations on the current story. The perfect example of the difference in their personalities came during basic math last fall. The was 1 green worm and 1 blue worm. I asked the boys how many worms there were. Joseph quickly said "1 green worm and 1 blue worm is 2 worms!" and then Leo replied "The green worm is the mommy worm and the blue worm is the daddy worm. On Sunday they take their little worm baby and put him in his little worm car seat and get in their little worm car and go to little worm church!" I said I really liked his story and asked him how many worms their were. He said "3! The mommy worm, the daddy worm, and the baby worm!" I've told Leo he needs to work on writing his letters and words so he can write down his stories so other people can read them. He liked that idea a lot.

Smarty Pants

Motherhood Monday

Matthew 25:36-40

"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me, I was in prison, and you came to me. Then the righteous will answer Him 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe you? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You? The King will answer and say to them "Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me."

I haven't felt like the world's greatest mom lately. In fact, I've felt quite inadequate. This bit of scripture was a big wake-up call though. What I do to my children (the least of them) I do to Christ. I do not think He would have appreciated being, well, yelled at this afternoon. I was tired, the children were overtired (thank-you day light savings time) and they were not following The Nite-Nite Rules.
1. Lay down the right way (no head hanging off the bed - half on the floor kinda thing)
2. Be silent (no screaming, no talking, no noises, no singing)
3. No playing (snuggle your stuffed animal, don't make him to the Hokey-Pokey)
4. Go Nite-Nite.

Seems simple enough, but not simple enough for 2 three years olds (or their Mommy. I didn't do such a good job following rule number 3). After having a Mommy Time-Out (going into the kitchen and crying) I returned to the twins room, apologized for yelling and told them why I was so upset. They both apologized for yelling at me and for being mean. I was proud at that moment because their apologizes were completely unsolicited. They both took a couple of deep breaths, as did I, we went over the rules again, and I said night-night to them. They followed the rules exactly, fell asleep on their own, and took a good nap. Mommy and baby brother snuggled together and took a nap as well. Its amazing what a little cry and a good nap can do to improve your day.

As soon as they woke-up, I made sure to thank them for doing such a great job following the rules. We talked about how we could have followed the rules without the screaming, and made plans to do a better job next time. I think, event though I had a bit of a tantrum, that eventually I handled the situation fairly well. We shall see how tomorrow goes!

WIP

Me. I am a work-in-progress. My Motherhood is a work-in-progress. Some days I think I've got it all figured out; I'm Super Mom! Other days, I call my husband at work for moral support because everything has gone horribly wrong. The kids are all crying. I'm crying. All I can think is that God must have gotten it horribly wrong. Me a mom? Seriously? 3 kids? 3 young kids? But then I take it to Mary in prayer. When I doubt my own ability and the Father's plan for my Motherhood only the Mother of God can console me. And she does it such beautiful ways.

A couple of weeks ago, on one of those horrible days, Leo grabbed a book off the table. I yelled as he pulled out my bookmark and threw it on the floor. I shoved the bookmark into the book and hauled Mr. Grabbyhands off to time-out. Later, after I had calmed down and said a few prayers to the Virgin Mother, I opened the book to the page I had so hastily shoved my bookmark, a page that brought my little tantrum to a screeching halt. It talked about the philosophies that Maria Montessori and Edith Stein had about children and the formation of the human person. Nothing like the Father smacking you upside the head with a 2x4 to make you stop and think.

I must remember that my children are a gift from God. Even the bad days are worth every moment. How I handle things models to my children how they should handle themselves. No matter how many times I tell them to take a deep breath and use polite word in a polite, calm voice they will not listen if I do not use my own polite, calm voice. If I do not respect the dignity of my children and treat them with respect, how can I expect them to do the same?

I need to work on my consistency. Set rules and do a better job of enforcing them. I need to spend a little more time taking care of myself. Running after the dog (Jack Russel Terriers just don't listen) does not count as exercise. Leaning over the sink while I drain the pasta does not count as a facial. Eating the leftovers from the twin's lunch does not count as portion control. I need to keep working at what promises to be a life long process. Motherhood is wonderful, but a lot of work. A lot of work and a lot of wonderful reward!

Motherhood Monday

Some days I question God's sanity. This may sound like a very strange thing to say, but if it does, then you don't have twins. The idea of twins, let alone identical twin boys must have come to the Father on the same day He created the platypus. Just after He created hallucinogenic plants. My identical twin boys are 3 1/2 and so these thoughts cross my mind.

Papa's Tractors

I just found these pictures in a draft post from last April.....
wish I could figure out how to rotate the pics...

Brotherly Love

It amazes me how good the twins are with their baby brother!

Thankful Thursday

When I struggle, as I have this week, with all that has been placed in my care, I try to stop and think about those things I should be thankful for. All the things that I could complain about seem insignificant in the face of my abundant blessing!

1. My 3 healthy boys, so full of energy and smart as can be!
2. My wonderful husband who is an amazing dad!
3. My wonderful husband's job and health insurance! :-)
4. Spring rain, green grass and amazing wild flowers!
5. Fresh baked, homemade bread.
6. Did I mention what a blessing my boys are!? I'm just in love with them and how wonderful they are! How they run up to me and ask if they can give me a kiss!
7. Friends who show up or call just when you need them to.
8. Chocolate ice-cream and birthday cake!
9. Little babies giggles!
10. A dog who loves to play with toddlers as much as they love to play with her.

And so many more things that make the troubles of this present time seem small. I'd rather count my blessings and offer the pain up in service of my family.

Motherhood Monday

I feel my motherhood threatened once again by the failings of the body that brought 3 beautiful children into this world, but also failed others. The babies I miscarried are daily in my thoughts and prayers. I pray too for the 3 healthy little men I have been entrusted with. It is my prayer that my Lupus remains manageable, and that I am able to be the mother God is calling me to be. The more I learn about this disease, the better I understand the struggles I have been through over the last 20 years. From migraines, to fatigue, to vision problems, and my miscarriages. Even the pre-term birth of Baby Oliver. I struggle with the idea that God gave me these children, the desire to raise them a certain way, and then allowed a huge obstacle to be placed in my path. I know it is only through Him that I will have the strength to do what He is asking me to do.

Cute Little Man

A better picture without tubes or monitors!

Motherhood Monday

The little man has arrived. Oliver was born 3 1/2 weeks early, spent 10 days int he NICU and got his first cold at 3 weeks old! Then developed a touch of bronchitis! Not to mention the postpartum complications that have helped to create a very tired Snuffin Mommy! But in the end, the sufferings of this pregnancy and birth have been nothing in comparison to the wonderful blessing I have been given; the privilege to be mother to a beautiful little boy!

Motherhood Monday

Recent Mondays have been filled with trips to the grocery store, the park and home baked bread. Today; nothing so adventurous. Instead I am happy to still be pregnant with a healthy baby, but frustrated that I will be on bed rest for the next 10 weeks or so. I still have 12 weeks left until due date on April 12th, but will be very happy to make it to 36 or 37 weeks. My twins were born at 37 1/2 weeks, were very healthy and went home 2 days after their birth.
Now, pregnant with one, I have been put on bed rest for a mild placental abruption. The risks involved with placental abruption include premature birth, fetal death, hemorrhaging and increased c-section rate among other things I would rather not think about. Unfortunately I have plenty of time to think about these and other things. Like the fact that I can't take care of the twins on a day to day basis. Although I will be at home for the next 10 weeks, the boys will be going to day care. This breaks my heart. They haven't been to day care, or even had many babysitters. A little time with Nana or an Auntie here and there, but nothing like 8 hours of day care!
I know that I will be doing what is best for my littlest one, and for my own health, but it doesn't mean it will be easy! I keep thinking about what my sister said... In a few months I'll hardly be able to remember what I was so worried about, and all I'll want is some quiet time to rest. I pray that is the case!

Santa and Snuffins

The boys know that Santa's real name is Saint Nicholas! Yes! But they still think he is a big guy who dresses in red and has a big white beard. I guess we will work on the true story of Christmas bit by bit. At least they know Christmas is Baby Jesus's Birthday! They love playing with their Manger set, and give Baby Jesus rides on their Thomas Train.... it is very cute. Joseph likes to sing "Baby Jesus! Baby Jesus!" to the tune of Away in a Manger.... very cute!

Leo in green, Joseph in Red and of course Mr. & Mrs. Clause... Candy cane envy!

Leo with Santa (above)
and then enjoying his candy cane... sticky goodness!

Joseph with Santa (above)

and then enjoying his candy cand (below)

Merry Christmas!